We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is her dick bigger than yours?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
