I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
3pm strippers are depressing
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
