dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
