and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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