Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
