lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
