i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
