with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
