im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize