Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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