I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
