I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
