Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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