Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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