so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
