Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
