He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
sex in a hospital.. check
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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