Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
