im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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