Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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