I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
