Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
