I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
