Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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