Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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