somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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