I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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