let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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