apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
