you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
