We're like a lot better than the average bears
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
