i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
