Welp...herpes.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
