peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
