Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you would pick up someone in the library
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
