May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
