After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
