you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
