Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize