I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
