Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
