oh god the rape fog is back!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
