new low.... made out with someone while peeing
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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