why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
