She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize