I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
