My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
