So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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