..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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