I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
