She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
