What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
