I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
