'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
