mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Pooping to opera.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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