Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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