let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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