Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
