Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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